Has been an interesting time with Madi. I talked with the counselor at school today and also talked with Madi about how she may want to talk with her. That anything she shares is confidential and that it would not be passed on to me. Don't want her worried about if I would know anything that is shared. Would be really great for her to talk with somebody outside the family. And Ed is awesome! She's been someone who has really been wonderful for us as parents and is a great resource.
Ed shared with me that emotionally Madi is starting to prepare to leave us and is pulling back. That for her sake, it's a way of protecting and preparing to move back with you. Madi isn't aware of this and doesn't need to know it, but it definitely sheds light on why she's reverting back to things she hasn't tried in a long time. She lies now and again, but the last week or so has been insane. Her character has truly been terrible and it's been difficult to see her trying things she used to try when she first got here a year and a half ago - can't believe it's almost been that long!!
Ed said that it will be important for Jer and I to talk to her about things. And to reassure her that there is change coming and that we won't be just leaving her stranded. That we can share the things we do know to help keep her stable and secure. And to reassure her that change is scary and that she will be safe and taken care of.
We had an incident this morning with lying. She started talking about various things while I was getting set up for my first class. She talked about how she was told not to write in red pen and check her answers with it or else she would be given a zero. So she kept talking and said that she wanted to check her answers anyway so she did and then scribbled on her paper. She was asked about it and lied to her teacher. Said that she was testing out the pen to make sure it worked. But she told me that in reality, she was just scribbling because she wanted to. All over her assignment.
So I said "So... you lied to him?" She got quiet and said "yes." And I asked her why she lied. She said "I didn't want to get a zero on it." I said "So you purposefully wrote on the paper and did exactly what your teacher asked you not to. And then lied to the teacher so you could keep your 80%." She said "Yes." So I then asked her "Well, are you going to talk to your teacher or should I?" She said she would talk to the teacher. I let her know that I would check back with the teacher at the end of the day to make sure she was being true to her word. We prayed before she went on to the gym to wait for Ms. Von to pick up her class.
I emailed her teacher and Jeremy to keep him in the loop as to what was going on. We had a few emails back and forth and she will be earning a 0% on the assignment as she tested the teacher, purposefully lied and purposefully chose to do exactly what her teacher asked her not to.
I did receive an email from her teacher letting me know that she did come and apologize. Was very thankful to hear that. I'm sure it wasn't easy, but she has got to learn that lying is not the way to handle everything in life. And she is definitely testing every area out with it. Reminds me so much of what we dealt with when she first came here. It could be a very testy couple of weeks before you come. And I would very much expect that she is going to test you like crazy to see if you notice, if you do anything and if you follow through with helping her make the right decisions. It is definitely a full time job to keep up with helping her learn integrity and morals and right character. And I truly believe she is testing us at the moment to see if we still care even though we know you are returning. I'm sure she is seeing that we do. We've had some good snuggle time on the couch and some good talks. Hasn't been anything out of anger - just disappointment in her lack of character.
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