It's so strange to see the date that you are coming back on this month's calendar. Madi has been talking a lot about it. She's very nervous about the transition. Feels very torn between leaving and not being with us as she's been with us for what seems like years now. Though she's also looking forward to being with you. Has just been so long and there are plenty of unknowns. Just keep telling her that everything is going to work out and that she will have what she needs: food, a place to live, school, friends and you. That everything else will figure out and that we aren't going anywhere. That I'll still see her at school and while our relationship will change, that it really will be a very good thing.
She asked me today if we need to start packing. And I told her we'd do that in a week or so. That there wasn't anything in her room that needs to be packed right away. She told me that she's just ready to get this over with. And I said that it makes sense. That transition is hard and that there is a lot of change coming. And it will be a lot of change for all of us. She's ready to have unknowns turn into knowns so she can deal better. And that makes sense too.
We've started preparing Riley and talking to her about you coming. We explained that you are Madi's mom and that you've been in school and now you're able to come back to live with her. And that Madi will live with you. Riley said she'd be sad, but that she's glad that Madi will have her mom back. We'll start preparing Julia in a week.
The hardest weeks of the transition are coming up. And I know that it's for the best even if it's the hard thing to do. Madi asked tonight if we'd go to Kentucky Fried Chicken when you came. I told her that that would be up to you and her. That if you guys want to go, that you'll be able to go together. She looked really confused. I elaborated and said that when you return, the two of you will be able to decide things like what you want to eat for dinner and where and that it will be something the two of you can do. She said she really wants fried chicken. Was somewhat strange because in two and a half years, she has never mentioned fried chicken. But I just told her that you'll be able to do different things than what we do and that it will be your decision not ours.
We've also talked about things that she'll probably really look forward to: riding to school without hearing Julia scream at the top of her lungs every morning, not having to wait after school while I have meetings almost every day, being able to do things we can't do since we have two little ones at home, being with you, eating at places we don't eat for whatever reason, stuff like that...
In school, she's been unfocused and having trouble concentrating. Doing some strange behaviors similar to what she had shown when she first came here. Her LEAP teacher talked to me today and said she blurted out "14 days!" in the middle of class. And that her behavior had been strange all day. Then she asked her why she was announcing days out of the blue and Madi told her you were coming soon. I had already talked with her and told her some things that the counselor and I had talked about as far as how the hardest part will be right before you come and right after. Once things are more settled for both of you, it will be much easier. And I had talked to her teacher about some of the changes coming up and told her that she may react differently in class as she has a lot on her mind. They're doing a great job being very loving and understanding and keeping things as stable as possible to help during the transition time. I don't mean for this to all sound sad or bad or like it's a negative transition. More just to let you know a little of how she is feeling so that you can understand where she's coming from. She has just become very comfortable in where she is and now things are changing.
Her grades are still amazing. She's getting along super well with kids at school. She's come so far and it's so great to see. It will be neat for you to see her and to be back in your role as Mom again. Once you get used to each other again, things will be much calmer than they are at the moment.
Madi hasn't been acting out at home. She's quite ditzy and forgetful and talking nonstop, but I really think that is just being an 11 year old! I remember being that way at that age!
Feel free to call her anytime. We aren't ever sure if it's a good time and I know the connection has been bad. I'll make sure she sees her message from you that you sent tonight. We told her she could call tonight, but she was tired and just wanted to sleep. And I totally believe it - she was wiped out by the end of the day and just dragging. Her iPod is downstairs at the moment and charged.
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